First, hands should be warm, clean, and preferably dry. If you can't get the last two done, politely defer the handshake until you can get a wash or a dry, depending on your needs. I don't want to have to quietly wipe your perspiration off my hand when you turn away. Nor do I want to clean my hand when we are done either.
Second, for fuck's sake, DON'T grab my fingers and give a little bob. That's NOT how it's done. All it tells me is that your Daddy didn't show you the basics or that you are a timid little wimp who is afraid of human contact.
In order to acheive a good handshake, follow this simple advice: For a good handshake, the area between thumb and fore-finger (lets call it the hand taint) should contact the hand taint of the other person. This makes sure there is no sissy finger shaking going on.
The grip should be firm, but not too hard. This isn't fucking grade school where we see who can dish the most crushing grip. That's bullshit. Save it for the playground.
The shake should be firm, but not jarring. Don't make anybody's head bob when you shake. This is particularly important when shaking hands with the a woman or someone substantially smaller than you. It's frightening to them and impolite to jerk them around. I think that's why so many women give the awful "fingers" handshake.
For someone you particularly care about, or want to convey extra sincerity, it is permissible to bring the opposite hand up and grip the forearm of the other person during the brief shaking. That grip should be firm as well, but not too hard and the duration of this kind of shake should be one or two good shakes and then done.
Here's a tip for the ladies. Follow these rules too. I have mucho respect for a woman who actually knows how to shake a hand, rather than just wimpily squeeze my fingers. It conveys confidence and will help put yourself on equal footing with the man you are addressing, especially if he's a bit of a Neanderthal.
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